Before you start a Coven... part 1 (New Pagans)

by Ash, Thursday, November 05, 2009, 18:12 (306 days ago)
edited by Ash, Thursday, November 05, 2009, 18:48

*Originally downloaded from EarthRite BBS

LOOKING AT YOURSELF

before you go a step further, take a good long look at your
desires, motivation and skills. What role do you see yourself
playing in this new group? "Ordinary" member? Democratic
facilitator? High Priestess? And if the last -- why do you want
the job?

The title of High Priestess and Priest are seductive,
conjuring up exotic images of yourself in embroidered robes, a
silver crescent (or horned helm) on your brow, adoring celebrants
hanging on every word which drops from your lips...

Reality check. The robes will be stained with wine and candle
wax soon enough, and not every word you speak is worth
remembering. A coven leader's job is mostly hard work between
rituals and behind the scene. It is not always a good place to
act out your fantasies, because the lives and well-being of
others are involved, and what is flattering or enjoyable to you
may not be in their best interest. So consider carefully.

If your prime motive is establishing a coven is to gain status
and ego gratification, other people will quickly sense that. If
they are intelligent, independent individuals, they will refuse
to play Adoring Disciple to your Witch Queen impressions. They
will disappear, and that vanishing act will be the last magick
they do with you.

And if you do attract a group ready to be subservient Spear
Carriers in your fantasy drama -- well, do you really want to
associate with that kind of personality? What are you going to
do when you want someone strong around to help you or teach you,
and next New Moon you look out upon a handful of Henry
Milquetoasts and Frieda Handmaidens? If a person is willing to
serve you, the they will also become dependent on you, drain your
energy, and become disillusioned if you ever let down the
Infallible Witch Queen mask for even a moment.

Some other not-so-great reasons for starting a coven: a) because
it seems glamorous, exotic, and a little wicked; b) because it
will shock your mother, or c) because you can endure your boring,
flunkie job more easily if you get to go home and play Witch at
night.

Some better reasons for setting up a coven, and even nomination
yourself as High Priest/ess, include: a) you feel that you will
be performing a useful job for yourself and others; b) you have
enjoyed leadership roles in the past, and proven yourself
capable; or c) you look forward to learning and growing in the
role.

Even with the best motives in the world, you will still need to
have -- or quickly develop -- a whole range of skills in order to
handle a leadership role. If you are to be a facilitator of a
study group, group process insights and skills are important.
These include:

1) Gate-keeping, or guiding discussion in such a way that
everyone has an opportunity to express ideas and
opinions;

2) Summarizing and clarifying;

3) Conflict resolution, or helping participants understand
points of disagreement and find potential solutions which
respect everyone's interests;

4) Moving the discussion toward consensus, or at any rate
decision, by identifying diversions and refocussing
attention on goals and priorities; and

5) Achieving closure smoothly when the essential work is
completed, or an appropriate stopping place is reached.

Tags:
Coven, Priest, Priestess, Leadership, Covens